Little Black Disappointed

One rainy August afternoon, I was walking down Fulton Street when all of a sudden this magical thing happened. I saw a sign in the window of Aldo shoes that read, “All Clearance 50% off,” also known as every broke girls dream. What I found in the clearance section was a hodge-podge of unfortunate excuses for footwear, but like every clearance sale there is always that one item that rises above the rest. I found these suede grey flats and thought, “These are cute but they’d be even better in black.”  The good news: they had them in black. The bad news: they weren’t on sale. Naturally, I ended up paying an extra 25 dollars to get the same shoes, not on sale, in black. You know what that makes me, a sucker. (Even Daffy Duck knows I got played.) To my surprise, Aldo had them in a size 5 but I had to order them online and get them shipped to the store.

One week later:

I get a call from the store informing me that my flats have arrived. I pick them up, get home, open the box, and the first thing I see is a card that says, “Keep it romantic and casual at the same time with these lovely pointy-toe ballet flats.” I want to be casual. I want to be romantic. It’s meant to be. I then proceeded to try them on and THEY WERE TOO BIG. I started thinking all of these horrible things, “How could this be?” “They say size 5, I’m a size 5.” “Did my foot shrink?” I then proceeded to try on all of my size 5 shoes.  *sigh of relief* It’s just the shoes. Just as I thought all hope was lost, I gave it one last-ditch effort: foot petals. For the normal person, a foot petal is a heel cushion meant to make your shoes more comfortable, but for me they are the beacon of hope to “keeping it romantic and casual.” I start putting these petals in my shoes, one on top of the other, so that I have about 3 cushions in each heal. Nope, still too big. Depression starts to sink in, I’m not Cinderella.

2 months later:

I forgot to return them. I don’t have the receipt. But what I do have is brand new shoes, that don’t fit. Dear Aldo, I should have known from the beginning that 50% off clearance was too good to be true. At this point, I need to get rid of them; they’re just in the closet, staring at me, laughing at me. Do you want them? Does your sister want them? Is Grandma looking for some trendy new flats? Someone take these from me.

But really.